Align Your Life
Outcomes reinforce our identity – and here’s why
If you've been reading my column for the past two years, you’ve seen my pushback against behavior modification. Despite good intentions, it focuses solely on factors disconnected from our true identity.
Take this equation for example: who I am = what I do = what I get.
Who I am, the factor of identity, is what behavior modification leaves out. Behavior modification without an accurate sense of identity is like a ship without an anchor: it might move forward for a while, but it’s at the mercy of external forces and lacks stability when storms arise. There’s nothing that grounds these behaviors.
People can camouflage their true selves, appearing successful outwardly while feeling unfulfilled internally, because their identity is disconnected from their actions and outcomes. True self-awareness requires a strong moral foundation and uncompromising principles— simply being a "nice" person isn't enough.
We must realize that our actions expose the treasury of our hearts. Our hearts are in direct connection to our identity. Affirmations and mantras don’t change the nature of our hearts, but faith, love, and hope will. This is an example of what an aligned life looks like:
Who I am: I am an integral person
What I do: I embrace authenticity. I honor my commitments. I uphold integrity, even in the face of adversity. I lead by example, even if I'm an outlier. I remain humble.
What I get: My community and strangers trust me – this is an advantage. I gain long-term success because I don’t entertain short-cuts. I develop strong, meaningful relationships.
Words of Wisdom by Char of The Week: People who align their lives find peace because their "getting" is a natural outpouring of who they are, not dependent on others. We always reap what we sow. I could delve deeper into this concept, but for now, I’ll save it for a future book.
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