Desperation leads to disaster
By Chardonnay Beaver
“What a waste to change a behavior without addressing the driving-needs that cause that behavior.” – Robert McGee, The Search for Significance
If you’ve been reading my column for the past four years, you know that behaviors are simply the fruit of our beliefs and not the root. The root of our behavior is best understood as our driving-needs, as author Robert McGee puts it in his book The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes.
Driving-needs range from the bare necessities of food and shelter, to love and social acceptance. Our needs are valid. We were born with them and deserve to be fulfilled. However, there’s a difference between a fulfilled and a gratified need. One leads us towards wholeness, while leaves us broken.
Here’s a classic example that explains the difference between gratification and fulfillment: an athlete runs 5 miles. They're thirsty, and rightfully so. They just ran 5 miles! When they finish their work-out, the beverage that’s most accessible is a sugary drink. They can either wait a while longer to grab a healthier option, like water, or consume what’s in front of them.
What drink would you reach for?
Now, I’m not a 5 mile runner. Running is not my choice of exercise. Nonetheless, I do know that impatience has driven me to gratify my driving-needs and not pursue healthier methods that point towards fulfillment. I’ve reached for the metaphorical sugary drink more than once.
Desperation is one of the most unhealthy, emotion-driven factors we could consider when trying to meet our needs. Desperation, a byproduct of fear, clouds our vision and causes us to live misguided lives. Desperation is often gratified by convenience: what’s most tangible.
It’s more convenient for the athlete to consume the sugary drink because it’s in reach. It’s more convenient for us to lash out when we’re upset than to listen and seek understanding. It’s more convenient to pursue that relationship that’s unhealthy because that person is in-reach. It’s more convenient to take that job that’s comfortable, but not impactful.
Words of Wisdom by Char of The Week: Chasing convenience amid desperation is a recipe for disaster! James 1:2-7
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